Run Away Gay

Why don’t you want me? Why am I here? Was the need to be around people that don’t know my name that crucial? Everything’s foreign. But why can I only be comfortable here...

She ran away from your slurs and ignorant comments. He ran away from the ideal of not being considered a man. More than anything, they ran away because you would abandon them regardless. If they can’t even be home at home, then what’s the point of even being “home,” and who said home was a house and not a family? Yet, they never even got a chance to confess, you gave all the signs of disownment beforehand.

Parents, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl/boy, and for some odd psychological reason, if no one else's opinion matters, your approval does. Disappointing your family burns like a 3rd degree. Realizing the family picnics are no longer a open invitation for you and you no longer are a needed link missing at the family reunion. You promised to protect them from the world as long as you could...I guess the world doesn't exist anymore when you can willingly choose to turn your back on them. They didn't disobey you, steal from you, kill another person, or anything of the sort. The only thing they did was find what makes them smile the most - themselves, but isn't that what you raised them to do? You raised them to be strong and do what makes them happy. But their happiness makes you feel embarrassed. To who? People. Those same people that don't share the same blood. Those same people that could care less what you do and probably aren't even fitting into universal ideals. Since when did embarrassment and love become interchangeable? Since when does your loyalty rely more on a person than your child? You're grown, yet in still -  grow up. 

To my peers that are hurting from this very issue, running won't save you. Everyone didn't make it out of the underground railroad. Slight correlation, but I hope you caught it. Don't think too deep into it, but just enough. The foreign area you're in will always be bittersweet, but it will never patch up the whole in your heart and replace what's missing in your life. Never be ashamed of who you are. The lack of one's understanding isn't always fair or just, but never give someone the power to drive you out of your own situation even if it's family. You're strong and you're probably wondering how I know. Well, you went through moments of questioning yourself - maybe even hatred, but you woke up one morning and knew you couldn't hide from yourself anymore. You continued to weigh out all your options while experiencing a brief moment of denial, but your heart won. You put your big girl/boy pants on and you faced the world...well, that world includes your family. Now, go home.