I've chased a girl that wasn't ready for me ...
You can't make someone be who they aren't ... even if its only at that moment.
Parents would never know who I was, but being a secret was my drug and she was my fix.
You don't know how to work under any other conditions because it's what you're used to.
I was scared to do better for me and save my own heart from the consistently repeated catastrophe, but then again, it's only when you know better that you do better. So, I continued to fall in love with situationships.
Hell, if it didn't hurt it wasn't love, right? Wrong, because I've had a few good girls to let me know that wasn't the right answer. They always told me who I should have been with because they couldn't seem to make that jump on their own...
You think that's crazy, but I respond, "not exactly," because it takes a real woman to not be selfish and tell you she isn't right for you ... no matter how much she wants to be at that time. They were my lessons on how to be treated even when they fell short because they claimed they didn't know how, but ultimately, they swallowed their pride and moved to the side because they were all missing the biggest asset.
The longer you wait the more you subject yourself to falling in love with someone even if you know the situation isn't going to change ... and after so many years you know how to operate being a secret like its second nature, and the more days that pass the more being known takes a lot more work.
Is that really how you feel?
Yet, unforgettably, one day you'll wake up and realize that you deserve to give yourself another shot and you'll put down the gun that you've pointed at your hope for so many years.
This is an ongoing problem with no resolution for many. You have your story but you're still searching for your happy ending. You imagine laying in a bed with roses but instead you're sticking yourself with thorns. What does it feel like to win at the last second of the game? Well, if you can answer that question, then you'll understand me when I say, "Find your buzzer beater."
How's your addiction now?