Bisexuality: Phase or Not?

Bisexuality is a orientation that’s often overshadowed and ridiculed due to societal stereotypes and a lack of true understanding of its presence. Before we dive more into the reasons why it is taken as a joke and why it shouldn’t be, allow me to begin this month’s post by introducing you to the bisexual pride flag and its symbolism.

To be bisexual is to be sexually attracted to both men and women and its respective pride flag consists of the colors pink, lavender, and blue. Pink represents having an attraction only to the same sex (lesbian and gay), blue represents having an attraction only to the opposite sex (straight), and when they overlap it results in the lavender color which symbolizes an attraction to both. Although there are a few different bisexual symbols, the one featured within the flag above consists of a male symbol (left) and a female symbol (right) connected as an infinity symbol and interlinked with a circle.

Most people would like to think that bisexuality isn’t valid enough to be taken seriously and are nearly always considered to be a transition “phase” until someone decides what they really want. There are also huge double standards applied on a grand scale when it comes to bisexual men and bisexual women. If a woman is bisexual it is perceived to be a dreamy ideal full of threesome invitations and “best of both worlds” situations; however, if a man is bisexual he’s marked as confused, disgusting, and gay – regardless. He receives the side eyes and raised eyebrows even if he chooses to date a woman, yet a woman receives all approval and praise.

There’s one movie that particularly comes to mind when referencing the bisexual male and it’s “Love by the 10th Date” that stars Meagan Good, Kelly Rowland, Keri Hilson, and Kellee Stewart. Within the Lifetime Original Movie, Freddy, played by Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, is the bisexual boyfriend of Nell (Stewart) and, despite their happiness together, she hits a major crossroad as she imagines a moment where Freddy will one day decide that he wants to be with a man instead of being with her because she can’t give him everything he desires upon him telling her that she was the first girl he ever felt such a strong attraction to. Without words, she immediately defines him as gay and breaks up with him due to her own stereotypical mindset despite him never giving her a reason to feel the way that she did. Luckily, he ended up taking her back after she apologized using their favorite love song.

Kellee Stewart and Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman who play Nell and Freddy in Love by the 10th Date.

This ultimately leads me to my final point that I’ll emphasize using a question. If those that identify as bisexual are constantly taken to be a joke and are involuntarily labeled due to individual mindset, then why be upset when they chose not to come out the closet? You can't be upset or feel blindsided when an individual decides to come out as bisexual when you're the main attacker. In a world where we desire for everyone to feel free to be themselves, acceptance and respect should never be left out of the equation and validity should never be a question.