All your life you’ve been the cool kid. The one everyone adores and wants at their party. The captain of the cheerleading team. The basketball/football/baseball star. Phenomenal artist. Amazing dancer. Incredible singer. Talented actress/actor. Top of your class. The Prom King. The Prom Queen. Your family has always held the highest expectations for you because you’re the oldest and you’re continuously reminded to be the example for your younger sibling(s). You’ve lived your life on what society considers to be the “normal” path. Your parents continue to brag about you to everyone they knew. Always had a girlfriend. Stayed with a boyfriend. Stayed out of trouble. Then one day…
…you made one decision that seemed to erase everything that people praised you for and turn everyone against you. The “trophy” son/daughter became an instantaneous product of an “I didn’t raise you to be like this” situation. Your mother nearly became a stranger in which every encounter appeared to be filled with hatred, your dad never said much, and your younger sibling(s) would always love and accept you no matter what. The model citizen became the talk of the church, town, or even at the job. Yet, you never officially confessed. You tried your best to keep it under wraps because you were still quite confused within yourself. How did this happen? What does this mean? Just like them you never saw this coming, but you refused to allow your surroundings to define you because you couldn’t even fully define yourself. There were still pieces missing from the puzzle like chapters missing from a book.
…the rising questions didn’t lie in the fact that you fell in love, instead, it lies in the self-revelations that occurred and would continue to occur during the process. This is your first relationship with someone of the same sex and you have spent countless hours trying to figure out if it makes you gay or a lesbian. The more you fall in love with this person, the more you want to show them off, but you continuously allow yourself to be stopped … by you. As a man, you know that a rare amount of women would ever be willing to accept your bisexual identity or as a one-time thing, so you try your best to keep quiet. Are you a part of the problem, or trying to prevent one? As a woman, if you aren’t a stud, society accepts and lusts after you for sleeping with other women yet you still can never wrap your head around the idea of two men. Double standard at its best. Are you a hypocrite, or are you just like the rest of the world that normalizes what they think they can accept visually within limitations?
The Gay Hate Mirror
When being in same-sex relationships – or situationships – for the first time, society has equipped us to initially think of the associated labels as a consequence – especially men and femme (feminine) women – yet consequences are always associated as a sign of bad behavior. As a man, the easiest solution is to keep it a secret, but as a woman, you immediately reach for the “I’m still straight,” as if you have to justify the reason for the type of person that you decided to take a chance on. Ultimately, when you look in the mirror what do you see? A label that society tells you to hate or someone that values themselves more than to succumb to the pressure of uneducated ignorance? We are taught to hate certain things that we see, but what happens when the things we see become a part of who we are? We look in the mirror and are constantly reminded of what we are being called and not the intangible things that make up who we are. Whatever label you are being hit with, shatter it. That’s not your mirror, boo.