Engagement is a more intricate level of growth within any relationship and while it’s full of love and candy-coated raindrops, it’s also filled with trying moments implicated by outsiders that disapprove the same-sex lifestyle.
Everyone around you that truly roots for your progression in life, regardless of the choices you make, will wait – although impatiently with wide eyes – for you to propose, but as soon as you do, they will bombard you with, “When’s the wedding?” questions within no time, and although they mean no harm, no one can truly understand the pressure – and disappointments – of wedding planning until you’re in the midst.
At the basic level, when planning a wedding you have to pick individuals that will bring your vision to life by sorting through those that are charging strictly based on their name or what they feel their work is, but in actuality, isn’t. Additionally, you have to pick the perfect venue where the relationship between the number of hours provided matches the amount of money required and whatever other details you want it to be apart of the deal - like outside caterers/alcohol. It goes without saying that communication must be at an all-time high between you and your significant other, but what comes without warning is how many doors will be slammed in your face just because. When you think about a wedding, you think of happiness and bliss; so when planning one, you expect everything of the sort surrounded by so many “yesses” to everything you desire that when the “nos” ring through, they leave this stinging reassurance that you are different and will continue to be viewed as less than.
In June 2015, the Supreme Court made all same-sex marriage legal in all states, but individual business still have a choice to approve/deny the business of such. There have been so many times along this journey that my fiancé and I have been ignored, turned around, and disrespected simply for choosing to love the same gender. Companies are on all on board until the pronoun “she” comes out of her mouth.
“We’d love to help make your wedding a dream come true. What will you be wearing? Your fiancé?
“She’s wear - …”
“Ohhhhh, I’m sorry. We don’t provide our services to same-sex couples.” [phone clicks]
In my honest opinion, it’s a bizarre move to turn down money when you’re in the business of making money. Moreover, it’s an indescribable feeling to be turned away just because of what makes you happy and truly fulfilled. We’ve heard everything from employees wishing they could but couldn’t because of their owner’s stipulations to not receiving responses at all. To the craziest extent, one individual actually told our wedding planner they were excited to work with us, but when they called my fiancé and found out we were two women, they were immediately no longer available.
Simply put, #LoveWins is more than just a hashtag. It’s a constant fight to let the world know that no matter how much you view my type of authentic and indestructible love as garbage, it will always be a treasure to us and those that value a genuine and unwavering type of love.
Plus, the wedding will still go on. ;)
“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:6-7