Same-Sex Marriage

One Man's Garbage

Engagement is a more intricate level of growth within any relationship and while it’s full of love and candy-coated raindrops, it’s also filled with trying moments implicated by outsiders that disapprove the same-sex lifestyle.

Everyone around you that truly roots for your progression in life, regardless of the choices you make, will wait – although impatiently with wide eyes – for you to propose, but as soon as you do, they will bombard you with, “When’s the wedding?” questions within no time, and although they mean no harm, no one can truly understand the pressure – and disappointments – of wedding planning until you’re in the midst.

At the basic level, when planning a wedding you have to pick individuals that will bring your vision to life by sorting through those that are charging strictly based on their name or what they feel their work is, but in actuality, isn’t. Additionally, you have to pick the perfect venue where the relationship between the number of hours provided matches the amount of money required and whatever other details you want it to be apart of the deal - like outside caterers/alcohol. It goes without saying that communication must be at an all-time high between you and your significant other, but what comes without warning is how many doors will be slammed in your face just because. When you think about a wedding, you think of happiness and bliss; so when planning one, you expect everything of the sort surrounded by so many “yesses” to everything you desire that when the “nos” ring through, they leave this stinging reassurance that you are different and will continue to be viewed as less than.

In June 2015, the Supreme Court made all same-sex marriage legal in all states, but individual business still have a choice to approve/deny the business of such. There have been so many times along this journey that my fiancé and I have been ignored, turned around, and disrespected simply for choosing to love the same gender. Companies are on all on board until the pronoun “she” comes out of her mouth.

“We’d love to help make your wedding a dream come true. What will you be wearing? Your fiancé?

“She’s wear - …”

“Ohhhhh, I’m sorry. We don’t provide our services to same-sex couples.” [phone clicks]

In my honest opinion, it’s a bizarre move to turn down money when you’re in the business of making money. Moreover, it’s an indescribable feeling to be turned away just because of what makes you happy and truly fulfilled. We’ve heard everything from employees wishing they could but couldn’t because of their owner’s stipulations to not receiving responses at all. To the craziest extent, one individual actually told our wedding planner they were excited to work with us, but when they called my fiancé and found out we were two women, they were immediately no longer available.

Simply put, #LoveWins is more than just a hashtag. It’s a constant fight to let the world know that no matter how much you view my type of authentic and indestructible love as garbage, it will always be a treasure to us and those that value a genuine and unwavering type of love.

Plus, the wedding will still go on. ;)

“Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:6-7

#GrantHer2Ingram

When I thought about how I wanted to relaunch FreedomTwoLove, I could only think of telling the world about the immense joy I have when I think about marrying my soulmate. Often, when I write blogs, I provide a perspective on an array of topics that deal with the LGBTQ+ community, but in bringing you this platform, I find it imperative that I share my own authentic experiences of being free to love genuinely with you.

I met my fiancé in a time where love seemed scarce and the ideologies that I once had of love were pretty much non-existent. The first time I laid eyes on her was in October 2014 during my undergrad’s (Fort Valley State University) homecoming, and although I don’t remember the exact date, I know it was a Monday and 2 days before I had the audacity to say anything to her. However, when I spoke to her it wasn’t in search of finding love, but an inability to avoid being drawn to the figurative light that shined around her as she first became an honest friend, a listening ear, and a genuine supporter like no other – an angel on Earth. It wasn’t until September 6, 2015, that I decided to take our journey to the next level, and fast forward, a few days shy of 3 years later, she is truly the love of my life as we will become one on August 31, 2019.

On June 26, 2015, the Supreme Court made same-sex marriage a right that the LGBTQ+ community could enjoy nationwide, and when that announcement broke, I dropped to my knees and literally felt as if I had a chance at actually living the life I imagined…being a part of a union bonded by marriage living in a beautiful house that my kids can enjoy growing up in and the beginning part is, for certain, no longer a wish, a dream, nor an idea - it’s my reality. In a year, I will actually be able to say “I do” to the woman of my dreams without being governed on how to do it by negative societal mindsets who probably haven’t experienced love in its purest forms similar to what I am lucky to blessed with. This will be a step closer to making the life I imagined come to light, but it’s a step that many were never able to accomplish so it will simultaneously be a blessing that I will forever cherish.

To my future wife:

“Baby, you are the blessing I never prayed for but the one that I needed. So I guess when they tell you that God will put the right person in your life when you least expect it, they are right. He handpicked one of his angels just for me and I’m beyond grateful that he found me fit enough to walk this life with you. In hindsight, I can honestly say that you saved me from myself. You made me believe in real, non-conditional love again...the type of love that God speaks about in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. I love you for everything you have been, everything you are, and everything you will be. Oh, and by the way, when you asked what I was doing, this was it. Happy Early Anniversary baby!”